TIGHT

Yep...I'm totally content to stay at the age I am (give or take a couple of years...I do wanna hit 21)...As far as getting old goes--you can fuckin count me out. Which brings me to the first thing that pisses me off...

I hate Wednesday.

Wednesday, this has to be the most putrid day of the week Imagine a day where eveything smells like used baby powder and fresh piss. Yummy. I'm sure the senior citizen death rate is much lower on this day because if they died any earlier in the week, they'd miss out on all the discounts.

Oh yeah and what's up with that? Senior citizen's discounts? Ummmm if anything they should be charged more for living longer because they move really slow and get in the way. And since most of em save every dime they've found since age 8, i suspect that 99% of all oldies are mason jar millionaires anyway. Fixed income my ass. Just another excuse to get free money and hoard it. I digress...

Unfortunately, one Wednesday I had to go to Wal-Mart (the most depressing place on earth. Oh yeah, stay tuned for the upcoming Tight Wal-Mart Skank Safari.) and lo and behold, it was Senior Day. Old ass from wall to wall. You couldn't get anywhere too fast because it was packed with thousands of people over 80.

Old bitches on walkers.

Old bitches on canes.

Old bitches with limps.

Old bitches on foot.

Old bitches in wheelchairs.

Old bitches on foot pushing old bitches in wheelchairs (very slowly).

Aside from being choked out by the smell, I felt myself nearing death. Or maybe I should say Death, because he shops at Wal-Mart on Wednesdays too. Hell, if you were a wolf and Friday was Sheep Discount Day, you would be stupid to miss that sale.

Eventually I leave Wal-Mart and go to a place where the air is fresh and there are no old folks to get me down. I sit back, light up a cigarette and smile.

FIN