TIGHT

Coming to a beach near you...He's pissed off and wants his money. Hurricane Rufus. Packing 150 MPH bitch slaps and spraying you with gallons upon gallons of wet semen, Rufus has decided to take over the hurricane scene. After becoming fed up with the other weak ass windstorms, Rufus reclaimed the oceans as his once again. Yep, he's back and he ain't takin no shit. Don't bother evacuating cuz Rufus don't play that. Get yoself outside and on the corner and sling some ass until the pimpest hurricane rolls through and takes his cut.

Tight correspondent Jorge Segura stares in disbeleif at the sheer volume of semen this storm dumped."I felt so cheap and demeaned just walking down the street."

In our interview with the mayor, we obtained his reaction to the storm.

Tight: Mr. Mayor how much damage did the storm do?

Mayor: Well it's hard to tell at this point, it seems that the majority of the damage will be offset by the relocation of the adult entertainment industry to our fine city.

Tight: That certainly will put a boost in your economy.

Mayor: Yes indeed, we've decided to come together in a time of crisis like this. You know, you have to make the best of things when you're ass-deep in spooge.

Tight: Sir, thank you for your time, but my clothes are beginning to stiffen.