Who is the most kick-ass, tight to def
person ever? Austin Powers! Yeah, baby!
This movie is so tight... so very tight
and I'm not even kidding. If you haven't
seen it yet- get your sorry ass out there NOW! otherwise you might not get half the stuff in this issue- which would suck something fierce. First up...

What makes you randy!?
This is a test of randyness. Look at
these pictures one at a time and decide
if they make you randy, then for each one that "makes you feel funny" give yourself 1 point. There are two sets to look at- one for you guys and one for you groovy birds.








Now score youself:

0 points - Good Lord, man! Do you seriously
mean you feel nothing? Nothing?

1 point - Did you see all 3 pictures?

2 points - Shall we shag now or shag later?
3 point - Cripes! Are you for real?

4+ points - Stay in your own row! None of that funny business!


"What kind of place have we turned this
into when people can't have promiscuous
sex with many anonymous partners, while at the same time experimenting with drugs in a consequence-free environment?"
-Austin Powers

Here's your chance to try your hand
at evil, baby! Dr. Evil has come up with a few plans of his own to take over the world and now he wants your input. We would hate for him to have to kill you. Here's a plan of his to get you on the right track:

"In the sixties, we were developing high
energy light beams called "lasers". These
"lasers" can be used to burn holes in the
earth's atmosphere, destroying what is called the "ozone layer". Slowly but surley the riskof skin cancer would rise considerably!
Muhuhuhuhahahahahaha!
Click here to hear the diabolical laugh of Dr. Evil

Now submit your own well thought up plan along with your name and email- throughout the week we'll be posting the best plans. Unless we either don't get any good ones or don't get any at all.

My evil feindish plan if i was Dr. Evil
To make M&M buyers think there was a stragetically placed "GREY" M&M inside a bag of M&M's. Therefore, making a "GREY"
M&M. and lead seemingly normal people to believe every M&M is "GREY".....
Then hold the world hostage for a million dollars.
Muhuhuhuhahahahahaha!
-Vera India Patterson
-----
If I were the hideously evil Dr. Evil,
I'd buy all the world's hygienic companies, and shut them all down, rendering the people of the Earth stinky and grimy. Then, after days of walking around in their own muck, the people would go crazy!! And I, being the only one who smelled Spring Fresh, would rule them and enslave them!!!
Muhuhuhuhahahahahaha!
-Sam Foster
-----
get f#cked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UP, DUDEa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Muhuhuhuhahahahahaha!
-Anderlmd
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something to do with mars bars, whales, flavoured comdoms
and nuclear bombs

-dan hughes

My terrible and fiendishly Evil plan would be to infiltrate the world's leading Elastic factory and mix my Evil solution
into their big vat of Elastic stuff, whereby it would render all Elasticly held up garments unwearable, due to my potion's Evil time delay "Laytex" crumble factor, everybody in the world will be desperatley truing to hold their pants up while going about
their everyday lives, a minor inconvenience that will soon have them BEGGING for me to return their waist bands to normality! But I won't! Unless they pay me...
Muhuhuhuhahahahahaha!
-Evil Baron Heimlich Manouver
-----
My evil yet cunning plan would be to steal the hour hand from Big Ben rendering the Earth helpless and confused and without
the knowlege of time
Muhuhuhuhahahahahaha!
-Snarlotte the Harlot