Karen's Home Away From Home

Karen's Home Away From Home

Welcome to my home page.

Expect this to change daily as I learn more about how to make this page interesting. I am in search of something that will make you go"WOW", so if I succeeded, let me know!

Oh yeah, the obligatory paragraph about Netscape, etc.

Okay, I don't really care what browser you are using. And I'm not gonna give you buttons to download the other browsers, if you want 'em, go search for them. If you are using the AOL browser, you already know that you are missing a lot of cool stuff, and actually, you probably won't be on the 'net long because it all seems so dull and lifeless to you. Those of you who are using Netscape think you are better than everyone else, because all the other pages tell you that you are. But, those of you with MicroSoft Internet Explorer are suffering from delusions of grandeur since you are indeed using the ultimate browser. If you are so endowed, you must go check out the Submerge page under my Cool People section. Hear the background music, see the scrolling marquee titles, look at the really cool font. And know that all is right with the world. Oh, BTW, if you are using Internet Explorer, you are hearing "Stairway to Heaven" right now. If you are not using Internet Explorer, you are hearing the fan in your computer hummmmmm. You better check it, I think a moth got stuck in there.

Oh, and while we are on that subject, Windows95 WORKS JUST GREAT FOR ME. It's fine . . . I love it . . . no bugs that I can see. But you know what they say . . . you WIN95, you lose $95. Oh, and would the person who stole my Win95 CD please bring it back. You know who you are.

If there is a way to do it better, find it. . .Thomas Edison

Difference of opinion leads to inquiry, and inquiry to truth . . . Thomas Jefferson

You're born, you move on, you die . . .That's life . . . Jo Polnechek on The Facts of Life

Some of my interests

Sony Magic Link.

I have a Magic Link,which is very cool. If you have a Magic Cap device, you could have sent me Magic Mail with graphics, animation and sound. But, since I don't use PrestoMail, you can't do that anymore. Oh well, it makes a nifty paperweight.

The Plastic Princess.

I collect Barbies, but only the Christmas Barbies, or my house would be full of them and I would be living in the Barbie Dream House out in the backyard. BTW, I am in search of the 1988 and 1989 Christmas Barbies so if you have one to sell, email me!
Everytime I go into Toys R Us , I have to go cruise the Barbie aisle. It would be nice if there was an FAO Schwarz near me, but then I would really be innundated with 11.5 inch blondes with empty heads.

UPDATE: uh oh. Now I have done it. I started buying other Barbies. Now I have over 150 of the tiny perfect blondes. Well, some of them are brunette and redhead, but every one of them is perfect. Perfect little hair and perfect little eyes and perfect little noses and perfect littles toesies. And that perfect little trademark on their perfect little butts. Aren't they adorable? Barbie sits here next to me on her little computer just like mine (well, except that hers is pink) wearing her sweatpants just like mine and typing away at all the virtual Kens out there in Barbie-cyberspace. No! Barbie! get your hands off my keyboard! That is my virtual boyfriend, I'll break your perfect little kneecaps you bitch! Oh, sorry... had a little problem there but it's all taken care of now. Whew. Now, where were we? Did I mention that I collect Barbies?

Maybe someday I will take pictures of all my Barbies and scan them in like this person. (whose page I have lost, but will find again. . . I was sure I bookmarked it. oh well, come back later. Hey! look, I found it.) And while I am at it, here is a great page of Barbie Links

(You know, if I was a man, I would be really pissed off that Ken has no genitalia, Why don't you guys get organized, start a petition and get Mattel to fix Ken, uh, er, um, unfix him or something.)

By the way, did I mention that I look like Barbie? Well, except for the feet permanently molded into high heels. And I don't have an eighteen inch waist. And I am anatomically correct. Well, okay, I don't look like her at all, except for the blonde hair. But you know, I have seen her with brunette and red hair too, I think she dyes it. (Only her hairdresser knows for sure . . .) Oh yeah, I really did date a guy who looked like Ken. You remember the "Mod Hair" Ken? with the stick on beard and moustache? Yeah, that was Eddie. My Barbies preferred to date G.I. Joe, he had a real beard and drove a Jeep, and had a really impressive weapon. ("This is my weapon, this is my gun, this is for shooting, this is for fun" heehee)

Did you hear about the new Divorced Barbie? She comes with all Ken's stuff.

Man in toy store: "Does Barbie come with Ken?"
Clerk: "No, she comes with G.I. Joe, she fakes it with Ken"

I want to be Barbie! That bitch has everything!. . . . . but a period.

Blonde Jokes.

I collect blonde jokes. Yes, I am a blonde, and yes, I find them amusing. Here are two of my favorites:

What did Jesus say to the blondes? . . . .You all play dumb until I get back

Why are all blonde jokes one-liners? . . .So men can understand them too!

To see all blonde jokes on the 'net, click to my Definitive List of Blonde Joke Links

AAAHH !!! Real Monsters I can't help it. I love these guys. Ickis, Oblina, and Krumm are sitting on my computer speakers right now, looking at me. Hey ! they are looking at me! UhOH . . . this is spooky. Did you see that!? Ickis just winked at me! I just knew that monster under my bed was real . . .

Toy Story Have you seen this movie yet? You just gotta go. And since it is all computer generated, you know how programmers are. They included some Easter Eggs in the movie. I have only seen it once, so here is my short list. Email me if you know of any others, I'll add them here and give you credit.
Easter Eggs in Toy Story

The toolbox that traps Woody in the milk crate in Sid's room says "Binford Tools". Tim Allen, from TV's Home Improvement does the voice for Buzz, and Binford Tools is the ficticious tool company that sponsors his Tool Time show within the program.
The house is for sale and is listed by the "Virtual Realty" company. This one cracks me up.
The moving van is from a moving company that is the name of one of the producers of the movie or something like that. If you know more about this one, email me the details,okay? I kinda forgot what it was.
I got an email from brendah@mbay.net that said "I only saw Toy Story once, but since I new someone who worked at ILM "way back when" in the mid-eighties, I noticed that the books in Andy's room all had titles of previous Pixar short films - "Luxor Jr.", "Andre and Wally Bee", "Red's Dream" and so on."

Some Things I Am Not Interested In

Stereograms. You know, those psychedelic things that have 3D images hidden in them. I am not the least bit interested in them. I can't see them. No matter how hard I stare at them, I cannot see anything but squiggly lines. I unfocus my eyes until my eyeballs are laying on my cheekbones, and I still cannot see the hidden image. It makes me want to scream. I think that, because of my superior intelligence, I cannot be fooled into thinking I see something that is not there. So, go look at this stereogram, and tell me what you see there. I honestly do not know what it is supposed to be, so somebody email me and let me know. (um, BTW, this page has been here since Sept 1995, do you really think you are the first one to figure it out and email me? you do? then I have some advice for you. Get a dog. Name it "Life". Then you'll have one.) The page I stole . . .er, flattered by imitating, . . .it from didn't say what it was supposed to be either. And if you have any other stereograms, or know any other pages with them out here, email me and I'll add them here. (come on guys and gals, I can't belive there are no other ones out here, No one has sent me any yet in all the time this page has been here)

Personal Ad: SDM LookingForS/DWF I am definitely not interested in this guy. Gee,does he really think this approach will work? Oh, he starts out okay, but read it to the end, if you can get that far, its just too much. He needs to go hang out on AOL in the "man with really big ego ISO woman to use as doormat" room or something.

Some pages from my bookmarks

MandelbrotZoom Psssst, hey you, . . .wanna see a fractal up close?

Say . . .you type it, it says it, out loud. Right on your computer, not in some guys office, or some computer room across the globe. You are not talking to a cat here, unless yours is sleeping on top of your monitor like mine is. (note to myself: take picture of cat on computer, and bribe Charlie to scan it for me. Another note to myself:Charlie does not bribe so easily, next time try batting eyelashes a little more. Final note: Never mind. The damn cat won't sit on the computer now. I think he is afraid of the monsters {see above}) ANOTHER NOTE: the cat is not a "him" after all. it is a "her". Well, when I got the cat, it was a little bitty ball of fluff, and I thought it was a boy kitty. I guess I just never looked between its legs again, and then one day.... it was acting like a cat in heat so I took a closer look. Ooops. Good thing its name is Sky, that is kinda non-gender. Guess I should get rid of the pink collar with the bow on it though.

Dan's Gallery of the TotallyGrotesque If you really want to see Nicole Brown Simpson almost headless, and John Wayne Bobbit completely headless, this is the place.

The Dilbert Zone Go here to see my co-workers.

The Monty Python Home Page We are the knights who say Nee ! It's only a flesh wound! Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? And after the spankings, the oral sex. Now go away or I shall taunt you another time!

Salvador Dali Gallery I'll stop the world and melt with you

M. C. Escher If a hand draws itself, and makes a mistake and forgets to draw an eraser on the pencil, can it correct itself?

Magic 8 Ball Signs point to Yes. Actually, this site had to change due to copyright infringement. But it is even cooler now. Go see for yourself.

The Internet Pizza Server Home Page Hungry? Download a pizza.

Build-A-Card Even better than the postcard page. Create a card that you can download too.

What time is it? When I want to know the time, I click here. It's so much faster than looking up at the ol' clock on the wall. Hey, did y'all remember to add the extra second at midnight on New Year's Eve? If not, that explains why you have been feeling a half step behind in 1996.

Relocation Salary Calculator You want to move to a new city? Go here to see how much you need to make to keep the same standard of living.

Computer Geek and Geekette stuff

That's right, I said geekette. When I was in college way back in the early '80s,the computer science majors at my school were maybe 40% women. Now, that was high for back then, and I admit, it was a small college (okay, okay, it was a teeny tiny college), but my point is that women are out here. Not only on the 'net, but in the computer field in the work force too. That's right, we can do it all (backwards and in high heels, I might add) . . . .well, just don't ask us to get your coffee . . .and taking out the trash in the computer room is still a man's job. We've come long way, toots. Hell when my mother was in high school, girls were not even allowed to take algebra.

Past Notable Women of Computing Go read all about Grace Hopper. I saw her speak when I was in college, she was amazing. Granny COBOL, she was there when it all began, in fact, she started it. I think all grade school girls should have to learn all about her, and the rest of the women pioneers in computing. Without women to start this, the men would probably still be forming a committee to think up a powerful name for the languages.

The Bastard Operator From Hell This is great. If you are in operations, you gotta go see this. If you know anyone in operations, you gotta go see this. And if you are Bob, Steve, or Jeff who work in operations/tech services where I work, you don't have to go see this, you live it!

COBOL was one of the first languages I learned. Fortunately, I didn't have to use it too much. Although I did write a computer dating service that matched answers to multiple choice questions on a survey between my sorority and a fraternity. It was my first COBOL program, and I still have the listing of it today. I'd put it up here, but then I'd have to type it all in . . . and you know how long COBOL programs can be. But anyway, have you ever seen Goldilocks and the Three Bearswritten in COBOL? Go check it out.

If Operating Systems Ran Your Car Yet another sample of geek humor.

TIC TAC TOE I put this page here because who else but a geek would teach the web to play Tic Tac Toe. Actually, one of the first graphics programs I ever wrote was a Tic Tac Toe game on the Apple II+ in BASIC. It was too cool.

And what geek section would be complete without a link to Stroud's Consummate Winsock Applications List - Main Menu, only the best place to get free software.

You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike Well, actually, you are in a maze of twisty little URLs, all different, but you get the idea. Yep. It's Dungeon . . . Colossal Caves . . . Adventure, whatever you knew it by, you played it in college when you were supposed to be writing that killer COBOL program. You had to snitch your roommates source code when he wasn't looking, and turn it in to pass, but you figured out how to kill that dragon, didn't you? (Kill dragon with what? Your bare hands?)

The Official Nerdity Test Homepage Go on, you know you are curious. Go take the test. The fact that you are even reading this section of my page should give you some points there. By the way, I scored 42.6 . . . can you beat that?

Pages that make me go "WOW"

These are my personal favorite pages. For whatever reason, these pages make me sit back in my chair and go "now why didn't I think of that... what can I steal from here?". No, really, they make me say "WOW"... as in, wow this is what the web is all about, this is what I came here for.

Jonas Flygare's Homepage I created this section after seeing this guy's page. I talked to him in PowWow one Saturday afternoon for hours. I like his attitude and what he has to say. You have to do some reading to really appreciate his page, but then, if you have made it this far on my page, you are not adverse to the written word.

goo This page is here for the graphics animations. All I can say is WOW.

Welcome to Pepsi World This is what a corporate site should be. The product is out there, but there is so much fun stuff too. And lots of software to download.... so much that this link probably belongs under the "Geek" section on my page.

Utegrrl's Page I met her in PowWow too, and yes, I did whisper a "WOW" to myself when I saw her page. It's worth a visit.

Links To Pages of Music

the ultimate band list Go here to see just about every band on earth and everything on the 'net about them. Add your own links!

Alanis Morissette is a goddess. Her music is so full of passion. Yes, I said passion. She is not bitter or angry or cruel, she is passionate, with a raw edge that makes you wanna go up to a man, kiss him full on the lips, then knee him in the groin and condemn his entire gender to hell. But she does not hate men, she just tells her story as it unfolded for her. Her lyrics are provocative and she delivers them with an intensity that cannot be matched. But that's just my opinion. Well, actually, the Grammy Awards agree with me... Alanis won 4 Grammys in 1996.

Alanis Morrisette "Everytime I scratch my nails down someone else's back I hope you feel it" Is she a genius lyricist or what?

Alanis Morissette Net V2.0 (More Alanis Morrisette)

Sarah McLachlan is a goddess. Her music also has passion, but it is a refined mature passion. Listen to Sarah, and you'll want to go up to a man, kiss him full on the lips, and then make slow love to him until the CD is over. Listen to it with someone you love. BTW, her song Ice Cream makes a great lullaby for putting babies and toddlers to sleep.

Sarah McLachlan

I also listen to Melissa Etheridge, Smashing Pumpkins, Natalie Merchant, Was(Not Was), Filter, Deep Blue Something, Matthew Sweet, TLC (but if I hear "Diggin On You" one more time on the radio, I'm tossing it out the window), Heather Nova, The Lemmings, Harry Connick Jr. , and everything I used to have on 8-Track tapes, but now on CD like The Eagles, Queen, Styx, Meatloaf, Tears For Fears, Steve Miller Band, Bob Dylan (Rainy Day Woman #12&35 was required listening in high school, right?), Boston, Blondie, J Geils Band, The Cars, etc, etc, etc

Poetry

For whatever it's worth, here are some poems I wrote.

Links O' Links

Start your surfing here and I guarantee you will hear the birds singing outside your window before you are finished exploring all the twists and turns of these links.

By the way, does anyone have a name for the web surfing phenomenon where you come back to a page you have seen before. but from a totally different starting point? I think something related to a mobius strip or a Klein bottle. "I mobiused back to the Barbie page, but I got there from a search on volkswagens". What do you think? Send me email with your suggestions for this, I know it has happened to you and I know when it does, you smile and say "wow", or "gee" or something like that. I'll post the good ideas here when I get enough of them, then maybe we will have a vote or something. or not.

WebaHolics Top 50 Links good links from people just like you and me

Justin's Links from the Underground he has everything. And with that devilish smile of his, you know it has to be good.

DyT's bush in the information jungle Lot's of cool stuff here.

pHpH's Runway 29R Oh my, some naughty links here. (UPDATE: Last I saw, he had to remove the naughty stuff. Net censorship really sucks.)

Weird Places on the Net What more can I say?

Useless WWW pagesSome of the coolest stuff on the Web is here

Yahoo - Computers and Internet:Internet:Interesting Devices Connected to the Net want to talk to someone's cat? check the coke machine somewhere you will never go? See if it's raining on the courthouse steps in Waynesburg, Pennsylvania on Rain Day, July 29?

What's Hot and Cool I even like the name of this one. Did you ever notice that "hot" and "cool" mean the same thing?

Welcome to DIGITAL CITY This is very cool. It is evolving much like a city would be populated. You can find me at coordinates (-19,-3) I have a nice little lake, and woods all around, and really great neighbors!

Susan Dennis - Where the Girls Are Babes on the Net? Not Quite. This is for real. No, really, it's serious stuff. I am listed here.

LaughWEB: CanonicalLists A List O' Lists. For those who like their humor organized.

Rehan's Home Page This guy is only 14 and he has a great page. There are over 300 links here, last time I looked.

BABES ON THE WEB Yes, this is it. Home pages of all the pretty girls on the net. And they all have pictures too. And before you even ask. . . no, I am not on it. Yet. UPDATE: this seems to be gone now. Damn.

Babes of the Web II Now for us girls. . . here is the male version of Babes On the Net. Go on . . .browse. . .I'm sure you'll find something you like. UPDATE: The last time I checked, this page no longer existed. Bummer. I'm leaving the link here though because I think it will come back, and if it doesn't, I'll have to link to Jennifer's Naked Man Page Shoot, this page is gone too. Watch this space for up and coming announcments. UPDATE: Well, I found this Babes II Mailroom, but it seems that there is no place a girl can go to oogle guys on the net anymore.

Billigan's Island This is a cool page too, with a link back to my page (Thanks Bill!)

Wonderful Web Women This guy has lots of links to women's pages. And guess what? He linked to my page too! Look under the category of "women with interesting interests".

Home Pages of some really cool people I know

Brad Grier..SubmergeDive into this page. He is a genius. He is a cool geek, a walking oxymoron. And be sure to listen to his song clips while you are there, and then send him some email if you like it, or not. If you are using Microsoft Internet Explorer, you absolutely MUST go see this page. And if you have never seen a Java application, now is your chance.

Judy Hall The person who started me down this path in life and tried to prepare me for it. Thanks Judy!

Charlie . .Magic Take a trip to the Sun, the Moon, the Stars. Experience the magic that is Charlie.

Harry Delugach's Home Page On the surface, a mild-mannered college professor, but what is he really like? Go find the hidden link to see.

DarkDan This guy has a Magic Link too,so you know he is cool. And his home page is one of the best I have ever seen.

ROGWILLI This guy lives eats and breathes Star Trek. The page is pretty cool, so go look even if you are not a fan.

Howard Bronson Of all the published authors that I know, Howard is my favorite. (Okay, so he is the only one I know.) Anyway, go see his page. He is a perfect combination of successful business man, sensitive new-age guy, entrepreneur, author, actor and friend. And he makes a killer french toast. Oh yeah, and he doesn't look too bad belly flopped on a sled going backwards down a hill in a blizzard either.

Cyberspace Connections

I first entered cyberspace on AOL on January 1, 1995. ( I know, AOL has a bad rep out here on the 'net, but it's really not so bad from the inside). I made a lot of close friends there, from all over the country. I stumbled around with no direction, until one day, I created my cyber-ego, MindFire. Watch this space for the story of the Sensual Intelligence room and how cyberspace defined itself to us.

Also look for me in these places:

PowWow Download the software, then Chat with me on PowWow, cruise me into your world. . .

WorldsChat a 3D Graphical chat room. Find me there as CyberKaren. I think I'll be the butterfly . . .or maybe the blue fish. . . Actually, I don't go there much anymore. If you have not seen it, you must check it out, this is the future of chatting in cyberspace.

IRC You can find me on IRC as MindFire. I don't have any regular places that I hang out, so if you know of a good place, invite me in! Well, okay, I will admit an addiction to #chaos on EfNet.

Have something to say?

You are visitor number since September 11, 1995

You can see the last 20 users

When you are not looking at it, this sentence says something else.

This page has been neglected since February 4, 1997

This page voted PowWow for the week ending January 19, 1996. Thanks to all who voted . You should go check out the other winners too, I particularly like the fourth place winner.