Kevin Spacey Top-Ten Lists
On March 29, 1996, Kevin Spacey appeared on the Letterman show to read his
Top Ten List of Cool Things about Winning an Academy Award...
10. Don't have to say any of that "it was an honor just to be
nominated" crap.
9. Blockbuster looks the other way if you don't rewind your videos!
8. The back rubs from Jack Palance.
7. If you flash the oscar at the drive-thru window, sometimes the kid
at McDonald's throws in a free apple pie.
6. Five dollar rebate from participating Sunset Boulevard hookers.
5. Statuette makes an ideal blunt object for beating the hell out of
pushy photographers.
4. Mom can finally stop yapping about how she wishes Tom Hanks were
her kid.
3. Whenever you're in D.C., the President sends you a steady stream of
hot babes.
2. EVERYBODY KISSES YOUR ASS!
and the number one cool reason to win an Oscar......
1. You get to do it with "Whoopi!"
A fan did her own "Top Ten" list, which, with all due respect to Letterman's writers, is a lot funnier than what they came up with. So without further ado, here is,
From Cheryl, The Bronx, NYC:
Top Ten Silliest Things Kevin Spacey Could Do
Now that He's Won The Oscar...
(Or why I don't write for Letterman)
10. Have his own category on "Jeopardy"
9. Guest star on "Friends"
8. Beat up photographer at Sears Portrait Studio
7. Release album of showtunes (I, for one, would love to hear him finish "Cheek to Cheek")
6. Iron Will 2 - Sled Harder
5. Become the official spokesman for Sweet 'n Low
4. Appear on cover of "People" Magazine as Sexiest Man of the Year
3. Grow a full mustache and beard - for an upcoming role as Orson Welles!
2. Host MTV's House of Style
1. Moon the Golden Globes voters
Back to Sputnik Central, the Kevin Spacey Home Page