The Hiromi were introduced
in the infamous "Small Wars" story in issue 94 and played
a large role in the series' penultimate storyline in which nearly
everybody invaded Zeltros. The end of Jo Duffy's run is overflowing
with comic relief, and the Hiromi are either the icing on the
cake or the straw that breaks the camel's back.
If you think the Star Wars universe is big enough to include slapstick comedy and broad farce, then you might just get a kick out of "Small Wars" in which the Hiromi engineer a war between the Ewoks and the Lahsbees. It is a conflict that promises to spell the doom of the rest of the galaxy. Or maybe not.
The Hiromi's first appearance in "Small Wars" can be found in "Wookiee World" volume 6 of Star Wars: A Long Time Ago..., Dark Horse Comics' reprint series of the entire Marvel run. The Hiromi invasion of Zeltros features prominently in volume 7, "Far, Far Away."
Hiromi
The following is an excerpt from a datafile that was found under a pile of dirty socks in the quarters of a former assistant to Admiral Ackbar. According to its masking tape label, it is entitled, "I, Hirog."
"Truly the time is upon us! In my hearts I know that nothing can stop us now! The glory of the Hiromi is assured!
"Silently, we have moved down through the ages, unnoticed or beaten into submission by cruel fate. But we are the Hiromi, and the millennia of planning and hiding have finally borne fruit. You humans, with your empires and alliances, have been lulled into a false sense of complacency. No one has ever known that we were among you... until now.
"For now is the time to strike! We will seize world after world and forge a mighty Hiromi federation of planets! Supremacy is our destiny, for we are Hiromi and no one will dare to stop us!
"And, um, just in case someone does dare to stop us, we'll only try to conquer a few small worlds for ourselves that no one wanted anyway. And in the meantime, we should also continue to be loyal members of the Alliance of Free Planets just in case. And then, if no one is looking, the glorious age of Hiromi conquest will begin!
"Then we will let out a hearty cheer of triumph, and then we will... um... we could cheer again. And then I guess we'll have lunch."
Attribute Dice: 12D
Dexterity 2D/4D
Knowledge 3D/5D
Mechanical 2D/4D
Perception 1D/3D
Strength 1D+1/3D+1
Technical 2D+2/4D+2
Special Abilities:
Advancing Learning Ability: Because of the Hiromi talent for obtuse logical reasoning, Hiromi may learn Advanced skills without bothering to learn the related prerequisite skills.
Story Factors:
Hiromi Logic: The Hiromi have developed their own unique system of logic. While the Hiromi excel in lateral logic, they have problems with simple problem solving, tending to look for the most complex possible solutions to basic problems. Simple complications often precipitate disastrous results upon a Hiromi's best-laid plans.
Move: 10/12
Size: 1.2 - 1.7 meters tall
The Hiromi were created by Jo Duffy and Cynthia Martin.