Bald-Headed Hoseman

I’m the bald-headed hoseman (a most unlikely guy)
Rinsing the decks of the neighborhood park
I’m the pool safety spokesman
Particular in my appeal to the young
Who will run in their zeal

Not a kind word is spoken (a most unlikely guy)
By those who will scoff
At the glare from my head
In fact I’ve a notion
To rinse out the innards
Of those smart little brats
And then it’s:

Lunchtime at the poolside
Bologna on Wonder and corn chips with bean dip
And rinse it all down with Tahitian Treat
(And I wonder if they like me)
The bald-headed hoseman
(A most unlikely guy)
And then the summer ends and fall begins
The pool will close – the rink will open!

Hey now, look at me, I am on the Zamboni
Riding high, riding free, riding on a Zamboni
Strong-thighed, bald-headed, ice-making maniac
Nostrils flared, ball bustin’, rectal clenching good time

Careening ‘round the curves,
I slowly tempt my fate
Making smooth the ice
So little girls can skate

The frozen floor calls out to me – the only man who can drive
The Zamboni

Words and music by Tom Hambleton ©1992 Auto Order Music (BMI)

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