copyright Muse Enterprises, 1999
The following is a former winner of the Amazing but Incredibly True Story Contest.
The most profound spiritual experience of my life happened almost twenty-five years ago. It touched me in a deep and lasting way, and I am anxious to share it with others.
I was twenty-three years old and five months pregnant with my second child. Unfortunately, my marriage was not very happy and honestly speaking, a lot of the problems were due to my own immaturity. My story begins on a Friday afternoon. My husband called me from his office to inform me that he had invited guests home for dinner and I needed to hurry and go shopping and start cooking. Shocked by his telling me rather than asking me attitude, I became very angry. Immediately, I accused him of being thoughtless, due to my condition, etc...
Hearing my angry comments and sensing my lack of enthusiasm, he began telling me that this was to be an important meeting for the advancement of his career. So, of course, I finally agreed and hung up the phone still feeling sorry for myself and mad at my husband. In spite of myself, the evening went along very nicely but when our guests left, I slept in the guest bedroom feeling a need to punish my husband.
The next morning I awoke as usual to the sound of the alarm ringing. But this morning, because I was not over my anger, I pretended I was still sleeping when my husband left the house for weekend Guard duty. I knew the one thing my husband loved most in the morning was for me to make him a pot of coffee and kiss him goodbye. But I was still angry and I wanted to make him unhappy, so I rolled over and went back to sleep.
The next time I awoke it was by a knock on the door. When I opened it I saw my husband's boss standing on the doorstep looking very serious. "Your husband has been in an accident and I am here to take you to the hospital," he said. I'm not sure what I did after I heard his words because I went into complete and total shock until we arrived at the hospital.
Several nurses rushed me into a small holding room where my husband lay on a table. He was as white as the sheets that covered him and blood was around his mouth. His first words were, "They say I may lose one of my legs, will you still love me?" My heart was suddenly pierced with pain and I felt that I would die of shame that he could ever say or believe such a thing about my love. But then I remembered how awful I had treated him the night before and I knew my actions spoke louder than my words. I hoped I would just die on the spot to take away my emotional pain.
Within seconds my husband was rushed from my arms into an all-day surgery to save both of his legs. I didn't really cry...I wept, and I didn't think I would ever stop. I felt such a heavy weight of tremendous guilt that I had trouble breathing. Pain was crushing my heart. Sometime during all of this inner turmoil, I looked out of the hospital waiting room window and made a silent vow: If my husband died, I would kill myself because I just couldn't stand bringing another child into this awful, scary world. I felt I didn't deserve to live and be happy again. Then it happened.
As soon as the above thoughts floated through my mind I saw with my eyes wide open a flaming cross. It was white beyond any white that I have ever seen. The moment this vision began, I heard laughter, which even in the midst of my insanity, seemed very odd. I then began to feel a voice speaking a reprimand to my heart. It wasn't real words that I heard with my ears, but it was words that I felt beyond any words I can now describe. The message was as follows:
"Don't you see how foolish you are being? This is the reason for the cross and everything is going to be fine."
Then, another amazing thing began to happen. I felt that someone was pouring oil over the top of my head. Slowly, it passed through my entire body, from head to toe, and it comforted me in a way that I still can't adequately describe. I also knew somehow in my heart that my husband would not die and all would be well. And so it was. Throughout the next six months of my husband's hospital stay, I never lost my faith that all would be fine. My husband did not lose his leg and slowly he recovered to return to work and continue his career.
We never really did resolve many of our conflicts, however, and eventually divorced. Many years passed. Then one day by accident I met a gifted psychic who told me that my angel had prevented me from killing myself in the past. I quickly denied this because I had never tried to actually kill myself. Thinking that she was very wrong, I told her that I had never been suicidal in my entire life. She continued to tell me that she saw where my angel had intervened in my life in a powerful way and it seemed it had been a life and death situation.
Days went past, then suddenly, out of the blue, I flashed back to the day of my ex-husband's accident and the hospital waiting room. I remembered how very seriously I had intended to end my life if my husband died. I also remembered something I had read in one of my angel books. Often a person hears laughter when Angels are present. Then it finally dawned on me why I had heard laughter as soon as I had the vision of the burning cross. Just like the psychic said, my angel came to save me from destructive thoughts toward myself and, also, to protect my innocent unborn daughter. The burning cross symbolized the great love God had for me and my entire body responded to this powerful healing energy. That's why I felt such comfort and calmness after my vision.
To this day I have kept this lesson close to my heart. I know it's okay to be imperfect because the One that is perfect is always there to lead us back to self-love and acceptance. He even sends His angels to help guide us when we need it most! Telling my story is my way of thanking God and all of His messengers.
To contact the author, write to: Debbie Kelley.
E-mail me your comments/questions/suggestions!
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