By Hypatia X
Recently the ``unique cultural perspective'' argument was made in two radically different ways on the Internet. First, a gay man argued that gays had a unique cultural perspective because homosexuals were almost always raised in a heterosexual family. The parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles of lesbigays were usually strayt and as such belonged to a culture different from the one of the queer child being affected by their lives and values. The second ``unique cultural perspective'' argument began with the fact that most Pagans have Christian families, and Pagans who don't have Christian backgrounds still grow up in an overwhelmingly Christian society.
These are valid arguments. Differences between themselves and the larger society help Pagans and lesbigays develop unique perspectives of a culture which is largely Christian and heterosexual. However, values are shaped both within and in opposition to the dominant culture. It is not enough to define ourselves by how we are different from our families. We must look at the roots of our cultural background and discover the ways in which they helped us grow into the people we are.
Just as clinging to all the values held by our families would be a certain formula for a frustrating and unhappy life, rejecting beliefs that hold merit because they come out of their culture would be equally disastrous. As cultural outsiders, we do have a different view of the fear and hate blighting the roots of our society, but outsiders are not in a favorable position to cut away the diseased roots or encourage healthy growth. However, when we begin to reexamine our cultural assumptions from within our families, the changes we seek may be possible. Changing families from within requires a heavy price. We must be out and open about whom and what we are. From this vulnerable position, we may also discover that the cuts we make are often to our own roots and the diseases we fight are at work inside of us.
Coming out, whether as queer or Pagan, can sever all our roots to home and family. Remaining in the closet can leave us hopelessly adrift because we have no safe place to put down roots. Before more of us bleed to death from hidden wounds, queer Pagans need to find a way to define ourselves within all the different cultures that make up our lives.
We must look at what it means for queer Pagans to be members of two separate subcultures which both have roots in the heterosexual Christian culture that dominates our society. Queer culture was not dramatically shaped by Paganism, and Pagan culture has not been particularly queer-oriented.
There is a cross between these subcultures, and when two cultures cross this way, along the lines of that intersection another culture is formed. Both Pagans and queers are more accepting of difference within their communities than is available in the larger culture, but there is a cultural dividing line where xenophobia enters the gay community and homophobia rears its head in the Pagan community. At that line, queer Pagans are forming a ``third subculture.''
Who are queer Pagans, really? Are we rootless, belonging to neither the queer nor the Pagan culture? I think not. Instead, we are beginning to explore ways to form that third subculture. Our new roots are firmly planted in two soils, both queer and Pagan, and our tap roots reach back to the foundations of human civilization.
The family structures and loving relationships which were formed in the lesbigay community serve us well as Pagans, and should be considered equally valid in other times and cultures. Spiritually, we are also developing many of the common patterns of interior life in ways which will transcend time and space. We are simply ourselves, and as much like other humans as different.
For the sake of our own sanity, we are digging deep in our efforts to discover the roots of what it means to be human. Because queer and Pagan values are influenced by the larger culture, necessity forces us to dig ever deeper and uncover those human values which have remained constant over time and shape them in ways that fit our time. Beneath the values embodied within society, lesbigays and Pagans have found a great deal of diversity in the expression of these deep-rooted human values. Many old cultural ideas of who is ``family'' and what constitutes a loving relationship have been adopted into modern lesbigay life. Spirituality is also a fundamental human value which varies from culture to culture. Pagans have pointed out that even in the larger culture there is a great deal of diversity in beliefs. Yet, as queer Pagans, our personal lives, our values, our beliefs, our spirituality, and our rituals take on an element of otherness. We are not wholly like our neighbors, therefore, we must be totally different.
Often we found ourselves pressured by the dominant culture and caught between subcultures, our values clashing with the cultures on one hand, while mirroring them on the other. We face the frustration of clinging to cultures which are alien in many ways, or being asked to take on the impossible task of becoming wholly different from the society in which we live. We must refuse to have all our roots cut out from under us in any community. While we continue to grow in new ways, we must also continue to cut away our own blighted roots until only healthy growth remains. Queer Pagans need to take from our many cultures what works for us as individuals and make it our own.
The process of cultural change is not easy. We have to continue to make reexaminations of the cultural assumptions on all sides. As lesbigays, we have to press for greater inclusiveness in our Pagan subcultures. As Pagans, we must seek the same inclusiveness in the lesbigay community. However, we must also be willing to change ourselves. Before we can expect others to include us, we must be willing to take on the real concerns and responsibilities of being rooted in a community. As Pagans, our spirituality is connected to our daily life. We must make commitments to the very real work waiting to be done in our communities. Demanding our rightful place in the community will do little good, if we are unable to define what our place should be or are unwilling to accept the responsibility of filling it.