Recently, while volunteering his services at the local neighborhood recycling center, the Ol' Fib Finder found an empty pint bottle from "Tom's of Maine natural mouthwash." While it was gratifying to see that Tom's socially responsible customer was recycling the container, it was astonishing to observe that the container was made of--high density polyethylene.
How could times be so bad that a "Pure*Natural*Refreshing" company like Tom's was reduced to shipping its "tested for safety without using animals" products in a PLASTIC bottle instead of natural glass?
Well, that 's a story for another day because a quick glance at the label revealed that the ingredients inside the bottle were far more deceptive than the packaging. It was quite a fine label which listed each ingredient along with the source whence it came.
| Ingredient | Source |
| Water | Branch brook |
| Glycerin | Kosher vegetable oil |
| Aloe vera juice | Aloe vera plant |
| Witch hazel | Hamamelis herb |
| Poloxamer 335 | Natural gas |
| Cassia oil | Bark of the cassia plant |
| Peppermint oil | Leaves of the peppermint herb |
| Ascorbic acid | Corn |
We could be nasty and point out that ascorbic acid is a white powder which you would be hard pressed to extract from corn without some serious processing. But we won't do that because it is only a physical separation which involves no chemical change in the ascorbic acid.
We could instead argue that glycerin is obtained from vegetable oil ONLY by chemical degradation (saponification) in a factory using lye.
But even that wouldn't be nearly as important as looking at the Poloxamer 335. Tom, that sly dog, lists natural gas as the source of this flavor oil dispersant. Natural gas, or methane, is a molecule of one carbon atom and four hydrogen atoms. Poloxamer 335 is a fully synthetic polymer consisting of at least hundreds, and likely thousands, of atoms. These long chains of atoms are assembled in a factory by various chemical transformations.
Tom and Kate try to skirt the issue of using this wholly synthetic material by saying it is made from natural gas. In fact, while natural gas may be one of the materials of construction of this chemical, it most certainly is not the only one. It is highly unlikely that it is even the major one. To assemble a huge polymer chain one carbon atom at a time would be prohibitively expensive.
Poloxamer 335 is no more natural than the cetylpyridinium chloride, sodium saccharin or benzoic acid found in Scope mouthwash. The real point, of course, which would be lost on Kate and Tom, is that it is no less natural either. There is no such thing as an unnatural ingredient. And there is no such thing as an ingredient which is not a chemical.
And finally, (though this is outside the scope of the Bogus Science Home Page) is the Fib Finder the only one who wonders how the Tom's of Maine community can be so concerned about the welfare of animals, and yet feel no pangs of conscience about the wanton taking of the lives of all the plants that went into the manufacture of this product?